Cinco De Mayo
So today is "cinco de mayo".Some of you may not know what that is and some of you may not care. If you knew my mom, then you know what today is. My mom would have the margarita ball out, be preparing the food and it would be party time. My mom knew how to have a party for any holiday. It is slowly and painfully starting to kick in that my mom is gone. As each holiday comes and goes. As each beautiful warm day comes and goes. As we get closer to beach time. How can it be true? My mom was so full of life. It's not freaking fair. The pain that I feel in my heart is the most unbearable pain I've ever felt. You know I find myself becoming more closed off and more detached from people. I would rather not love or care about people, then to do it and then have your heart ripped from your chest and be left w/ a void that can not be filled. To me it is not worth it. It is a lot safer to put my walls up and have the heart made of stone. I just don't understand anymore. How do I get through this? It's only been 3 months and it's just getting harder. Noone asks anymore how I'm doing.My family still feels the pain. I guess everyone else thinks you get over it, well you don't. If I don't talk about her then people won't. I will never forget my mom and I will never let anyone else who knew her forget her. I miss her more than any words can describe. I would give anything or do anything to have more time with her. Anyway I don't really feel like being upset right now, so I'm gonna end it here. Cheers mom. Never forget!!!!.......T
posted by Tasha at 9:21 AM
4 Comments:
Tasha,
I am sorry to read about your mother. I have no idea why I happened to stumble onto your blogger. I don't even really get how this all works. My partner, someone I love so dearly, completed suicide in July of 2003. She set herself on fire while I was sleeping. I know some of your pain. I really wanted to believe this could not happen to anyone else. And, when I am in my support group meetings, I meet new people. I hate it. And, I am so very sorry that we all hurt so much. I guess I just wanted you to know that.
Peace,
Sherri
My email is Shemibee@aol.com
12:56 PM
Tasha,
I followed your blog through Rosie's. I can't imagine the pain that you are feeling right now. I recently lost a first cousin (who was like a sister to me). She was 15 and died in a car accident. I don't know that I will EVER get over it. I think that is the way that it works. We don't "get over it" we just learn to "live with it", as hard as that is. I wish you all of the strength and comfort in the world, as I have no idea how difficult it must be to lose a parent. You are, however, honoring your mother's memory by telling the world how wonderful she was.
4:24 PM
I never saw a pic of your mom before, she was beautiful, just like you. Dont fault people for not bring her up, they are probably afraid to, not knowing how you would feel about it.... I know for me, as your friend, I want to say and do all the right things for you to help you.. and sometimes its impossible to know what those things are. But hopefully you already know, and you will now, that I am always here, day or night, to talk to. I love you Tasha.
Love April
Aprilinvenice@aol.com
6:15 PM
I can't even imagine the pain you go through without seeing your mom. But you know as well as i know, she is still here with you in your heart and mind. You need to show her you are strong, like she always knew you as. She dosen't like knowing she is making you feel like this. I cant tell you how my heart stopped when i read about nobody not asking how you feel. I dont know how to ask you, i dont know if i should ask you, im afraid to bring it up. I shouldn't be like that, but also i just hope you would talk about it whenever you like... you don't, you just keep it all inside and eat you away. Talk to me! Im here for you 100% ...you know that! I love ya tasha!
Love, Schwoopy
9:56 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home