TIME

So last Saturday was 6 months since my mom died.You would think that w/ time it would get easier but I don't believe that.Six hours,days,weeks,months and years.Does it really make a difference?You will always miss that person.So I'm told that at about six months you start coming out of the fog.I do believe that's true.But if you know me, you know that I will fight that hurt and pain.The image of my mom laying in the coffin haunts me.I can't get it out of my head.Her facial expression was that of anger.She looked so pissed.I wish that wasn't the last visual I had of her.I also wish her last words to me weren't that"I'm leaving".I just didn't realize she meant for ever at that moment.She looked me right in the eyes.I can see it like it just happened.I still have this idea in the back of my head that I'm in a coma and this is all a dream.I mean I know that I'll never see her again.But sometimes I'll walk into the house and smell a certain kind of food cooking and think she's in the kitchen.I'll smell her perfume and think she's in the other room.Sometimes I lay in my bed and pretend that she's in the living room watching TV.I just don't know how I'm ever going to get through this.As I cry typing this, there is a part of me that gets very angry for being upset.I have a message to everyone out there in internet land.Don't take your parents for granted.Spend as much time as possible w/ them and tell them often how much you love them.Trust me, you'll wish you did after it's to late.I never told my mom how much I loved her.To late now....................